Don’t believe me just watch #watch #slapyouinyourfaceonpictureday
A month and a half ago I had accepted to myself that I do not have my life together. Emotionally, financially, physically, etc. I’m not where I want/need to be, and it has been a constant bother/motivation. I’m 20, and every time I try to explain this problem to my peers they tell me the same thing… “You’re young you shouldn’t care”, “You’re a star give it time”, “You worry too much”. I get it a lot and I understand. Stability is key and I’ve learned that through being around people much older and wiser than me.
I let go of one of the hugest burdens I’ve ever had this year in July. It was one of the greatest moves made and I hadn’t thought of how good letting that burden go was until this afternoon. From January to July, working on my EP I had the hugest setback in disguise. ‘Twas an addiction, and also the biggest amount of stress anybody could ever have being in my position to handle and hold tightly. There was no escaping due to heartfelt feelings. I skipped my mother’s birthday, my sister’s birthday, and blew tons of money on this burden which leaves me to where I am now.
I’m a happy person…I’m not fully content with my life and I accept that but I’m very very happy. I’ve gained a closer relationship with my mother, and I’m having more fun than I could ever imagine. Something is missing though, and that’s a fulfilled goal that I’m still trying to chase.
I had somebody who I genuinely love and admire take me out one day, and seeing her drive away to go home and leave me alone fucked me up. Imagine seeing somebody you deserve know that you’re not a full put-together human yet. It’s crazy, but it’s excusable. I had a long chat at dinner with her about everything.
I know the friends who use me…For backstage at concerts, bad bitch hangouts, famous people, etc. It sucks. Nowadays I could count my true friends back home on one hand and that shit absolutely sucks but is great at the same time. Fuck that though…I’m slowly drifting away from those people so I’m all the way great. I had a friend lie to me weeks ago about some shit and it still angers me until now. I then come to the conclusion that I’m thinking too hard and then do some other shit like text a really nice girl and get my mind off it.
A love life hasn’t been made yet but eh, I’m waiting, you know? I kind of know what I want and I’m cool with being single until then. I’ll be dabbling into other women and I’ll admit that but who doesn’t when they’re at my stage? I’m 20 for christ sake, yolo fucker. I had this chick tell me she wants kids at 23. I was stupid enough to agree with her at the time and now I’m like fuck that I want my mom cancer free and in her own crib by 23 fuck am I doing caring about intentionally impregnating a girl when I don’t have my own life together yet.
I’m here focussing on what’s way more important.
and my family is. my team is, my best friend is, my fans are, and this music is.
Word Of Mouth comes out Friday
Kendall Jenner’s mine